Behind The Words
by No Time To Cry
Summary: Every person has a story attached to a certain word. Sometimes they're simple, a lot of the time they aren't. Here, these stories will be put down on paper for all to read. A look into the mind of William Murderface.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is, quite frankly, nothing more than me wanting to practice writing for the Metalocalypse characters. And, at the moment, Murderface is who I need the most practice with. So I had my friend give me a bunch of words and I sat down and wrote one paragraph per word. And, uh, this is the result of it.

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><p><strong>1. Forgotten<strong>

Murderface has begged his Grandmother for answers more times then he can count. Asked her what his parents looked like. What his mother was like. Which one he took after the most and whether or not that was a good thing. But she's a stubborn woman and, time and time again, she gives him the same answer. _I've forgotten_, she'll tell him, _and you should too_. But he can't forget them because, really, he doesn't know enough of them to not remember.

**2. Bird**

The only pet that Murderface has ever owned is a bird. Small and yellow, with no real breed and no real name. He simply calls it Bird. Despite this, Murderface does care for the small creature. It is the only bit of color in the drab and broken down apartment. Bird is the only thing there when he comes home each day, still without a band, and the only creature that will listen to him complain. He comes home one day, the same day that he finally lands a place in a new band called Dethklok, and there is no bird-song to greet him. Bird is given to a stray cat that lives behind the apartment building. Murderface tells himself that he didn't really care about the animal anyway.

**3. Cage**

It's dark and it's cold. The floor is hard and the walls are all made up of metal bars. It really should be larger for someone his size, but Murderface doubts that whoever bought the cage cares about that. They might have even been going for someone smaller. Now that he thinks about it, Toki had been playing awfully close to him at the concert. They had probably been trying to grab him but, in the ensueing chaos that consisted of millions of fans screaming and the Klockateers running on stage with guns and swords waving, they had ended up with him instead. That thought makes him angry - and the anger stays, over powering any fear or misery he might have felt. Just like it always does.

**4. Shadows**

Murderface is not one to say that he's afraid of something. This is partially because that is just not something he could ever bring himself to say out loud and partially because there are few things that scare the bassist. The dark is _not_ one of those things. It has _never_ been one of those things. It most likely never will be. Still, when the power goes out at Mord House and a timid knock sounds on his door, Murderface rolls out of his warm bed and lets Toki into his room. It isn't brutal to be afraid of the dark but the younger boys fear of the shadows night brings is one thing that Murderface will never mock him for.

**5. Book**

_Romeo And Juliet_ was one of the many books that Murderface had been forced to read during his stay in school. It also happens to be the book that he hates the most. The entire idea behind it sickens him. To fall in love in just a few days is stupid. To kill yourself over someone you just met even more so. Murderface will tell anyone he can those reasons, given he has the chance. Whether or not he'll tell them the third reason, the one that he refuses to admit even to himself, is a different story all together.

**6. Cold**

It's cold in the Mord House. Inexplicably and unexplainably cold. Offdensen is trying to figure out why, because the air isn't on and it's almost June outside, but in the meantime the band is just supposed to tough it out and find their own ways to keep warm. Nathan sulks in his bedroom, Pickles hogs most of the blankets in the house, Toki makes hot chocolate, Skwisgaar pulls on a jacket and says the temperature doesn't bother him. And Murderface? Murderface takes up most of Nathan's bed and claims he's only in there because Pickles stole all of his blankets.

**7. Young**

People say that those you meet during childhood shape your existance once you grow up. They help mold your very exstance. Murderface thinks back to his childhood when this is said. He remembers the teachers that didn't care and the family that he didn't have. He remembers bullies and he remembers having to fight for everything that he had; whether it was worth having or not. Murderface can't help but to agree with that saying.

**8. Wrong**

It's wrong. Wrong and gross on so many levels. Murderface knows this. The rest of Dethklok know this. They have all made jokes and uttered slurs on the matter - and that might be the reason why Murderface denies it so frequently, because he believes that he knows the bands view on the matter. The simple truth of the matter, though, is that William Murderface really is gay. And, one of these days, he's going to muster up the courage to admit it.

**9. Gentle**

It isn't something that Murderface knows much about. Being gentle, that is. His Grandmother certaintly wasn't gentle when he lived with her. His classmates and teachers weren't either. And himself? Well, Murderface isn't about to kid anyone. He _knows_ that there is _nothing_ about him that's gentle. Most of the time, he doesn't care. But there are some days, few and far between, where he wonders if things would be different were he to act just a little less like himself.

**10. Last**

Women don't flock to Murderface like they do the others. That's just fact. Everyone in the band knows and accepts that. Even Murderface himself. And, if he thinks about it for too long, then it really does bum him out. There is little that makes it better - because he knows that the women only run from him for his looks, that if they stopped comparing him to people like Nathan and Skwisgaar then things would be different. Maybe then he wouldn't always be viewed as a last resort.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Because this turned out to be way more fun than I thought it would be, and because I still need serious practice with Murderface's characterization, I have decided to continue this! In each chapter, I will post ten more paragraphs, all based on random words that my friend gives me. Because Murderface needs more love, people!

**1. Fire**

It reaches out towards Murderface, shapeless fingers grasping at the air and trying to pull him into the deadly inferno. Colors merge and blend, only to flare and seperate once more. The heat coming off of the school is unbelievable, fueled ever on by the endless amount of paper that lay within its walls. There are no screams, never were any, because Murderface doesn't want to _kill_ anyone with the fire. He just wants to let them know that they were the ones responsible for how he turned out, for how he thinks and acts and speaks now, and to tell them that they are not forgiven. So he stands there and idly watches as the high school he once went to burns down to the ground.

**2. Whisper**

Murderface isn't deaf. He isn't even slightly hard of hearing, though he has pulled that con several times before as a quick get away excuse, so Murderface doesn't understand why Ofdensen acts like he can't hear a word that's being said. The whispers aren't really whispers, after all, and their manager is making no secret of the fact that he thinks they could find a better bassist. For some reason or another, one that Murderface has yet to figure out, Pickles strongly disagrees with the businessman each and every time. And so Murderface stays a member of Dethklok - at least until Pickles gets tired of him, too.

**3. Talent**

The band always complains about how bad a bassist Murderface is. How his work always has to be edited out of the albums and how it messes them up on stage. What they don't seem to get is that, to have gotten in the band in the first place, he had to be good. He had to be more than good - good enough to get Nathan's attention during auditions, to beat out seventy some other bassists, and to keep a spotlight on him even when Magnus was onstage. Murderface has talent. He just refuses to show that when he isn't even allowed to write his own rifts.

**4. Inch**

It's just one step. One measely step. And, really, it probably wouldn't even count as a regular step. It's taunting and tantalizing and just the thought of taking that step, of falling and feeling the wind rush around him as all of his worried and memories just dissapear, sends Murderface's heart up into his throat. He lifts his leg up, bare foot just an inch away from the edge of Mordhause's roof, and is about to throw himself forward when the door slams open behind him. And the man doesn't think that he can kill himself with someone watching. At least not if that someone is Nathan.

**5. War**

It's a constant battle being a member of Dethklok. A constat war that silently wages behind closed doors and shuttered windows. While most of the band is unaware of this, unaware that two of their members are duking it out with words right in front of them, Murderface has no problem realizing what it is going on between himself and Skwisgaar. And he isn't afraid of the taller man because, when push comes to shove, Murderface has been to war far more times than the lead guitarist. He isn't afraid. He knows that he can - that he _will_ win.

**6. Protection**

Murderface is strong. He's independant. He's been standing on his own two legs longer than anyone in Dethklok, faced more than just about the entire band put together. He had no comfort like Toki did; not even in the form of a makeshift doll. He had no family, crazed as they might be, like the frontman and the lead guitarist did. He has always been his own form of protection, his own safety blanket, and his own one-man army. So when everyone else is against him, when even the band that he has come to call his family threatens to leave him behind, he is surprised that Pickles voices a different oppinion. And he's angry because he doesn't know how to deal with someone else offering him any sort of protection.

**7. Warmth**

The night is cold and the snow pressed against the bassist's back even colder. He is shaking like he never has before, scared like he will never admit, and doing his best to hide it all. Because Murderface doesn't show emotions that aren't brutal. But Pickles is pressed against his side - warm like nothing else in that dark and dreary night, and Murderface can't help but to press himself a little bit closer.

**8. Loved**

_Loved_. The word rolls off of Murderface' tounge and dissapears into the silence. It sounds garbled, as though it is from a language other than his own and he is still learning how to pronounce things correctly. _Loved_. He says it again, this time staring into the mirror. _Loved_. On his finger is a golden ring, an exact copy of the one the sleeping drummer wears, stretched out on the bassist's bed. _Loved_. Murderface can't bring himself to believe that it's true.

**9. Forest**

Growing up, Murderface's school bordered the edge of a small forest. One with a man-made pond in the middle and barely dense enough to hide the few, skinny animals that lived in it. The trees were sparse and the undergrowth thin. The pond murky and laden with litter. But, for the young boy, it was a home-away-from-home. A brief respite from the adults who scorned him and the children who cursed at him. The forest was his only respite from a world that he quickly grew to hate.

**10. Scream**

There is blood running down both arms, dripping onto the dark sheets of his bed. Broken glass, some stained with rapidly drying crimson, litters both the matress and the floor. There are even a few shards embedded into the bedroom wall. Again, Murderface brings the knife down upon himself. This time into his forearm - where blood begins to flow freely. But the bassist never screams out. Because this pain, this _torture_, is real like nothing else that he feels. It is what keeps him grounded, what keeps him sane. And, in a twisted way, it is what keeps him alive.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Important! Please, if you see a paragraph that you especially enjoy or would think might make a good story, let me know! If I'm told about it, I might make it longer! Maybe a one-shot, maybe a multi-chapter story, maybe with an idea or two of yours thrown in. Let me know which ones you like best, though, from all of these chapters and any future chapters. Information like that is more than appreciated. In fact, it truly makes my day.

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><p><strong>1. Freedom<strong>

In the beggining, Murderface thinks there will be freedom at school. He is wrong. He thinks there will be freedom when he moves away from his grandmother. So wrong. He believes that there will be freedom in learning music. It no longer surprises him when he's wrong. He believes there is freedom in being a member of Dethklok. And for a time he is right and it feels so great because, finally, finally, he is on top of the world. And then a new member joins the band and Murderface realizes that he wasn't right in the first place. There is no freedom for him. There never will be.

**2. Water**

The steaming water cascades out of the shower head and down Murderface's neck and shoulder. It's as hot as he can stand it, almost burning, but it eases the knots in his muscles like nothing else will. When it reaches his arms and the open gashes that line them, it makes him wince in pain. But he doesn't pull away from the streaming liqued. Instead he lifts his head up and lets it batter his face. Relishes in the feel of crusted blood being washed away from his skin - and imagines, for just a moment, that he is being washed away with it.

**3. Silhouette**

It's late when Murderface creeps into the recording studio. Late enough for him to believe that the rest of Mordhaus is asleep and that the rest of the band is passed out in drunken heaps. So he slips inside and grabs his bass. Hits the record button. Watches it blink, red and black red and black red and black, until it is all that his vision consists of. And then he begins to play. It's the real deal, not the half-assed stuff the he produces during recording or concerts, and he is soon swept up in his own playing. So swept up that he doesn't notice when the shadows behind him move and double or that Charles has also entered the recording studio, a look of utter surprise crossing his normally expressionless face.

**4. Fear**

Hurting himself isn't something that Murderface is ashamed of. It isn't something that he has ever tried to hide. In fact, on more than one occasion, he has told the others point-blank that it's the reason he carries a knife with him at all time. He doesn't realize they don't believe him. Not until Nathan lets himself into Murderface's bedroom one day, just as the bassist adds another scarlet line to the rapidly growing collection on the underside of his left arm, and a look of utter horror crosses the frontmans face. And then Murderface has to wonder why Nathan would be afraid.

**5. Laughter**

The joke doesn't make sense to Murderface. It was obviously one that Toki had translated into English himself and, because of that, not all of the lines made sense. Or maybe it was just because the bassist was lacking when it came to the humor department. It didn't matter either way though because Toki's laughter filled the living room, bringing the smallest of smiles to the bassist's face. And maybe laiughter _was_ infectious because he found himself letting out a small chortle anyway.

**6. Thousand**

It's loud on stage. Even louder once Dethklok begins to play. Loud enough that, at times, the screams of the band's fans actually hurt his ears. It should make him swell with pride that so many people travel to see them play. It doesn't. Because Murderface knows that, out of the thousand of people out there in the crowd, none of them came here just to see _him_.

**7. Lies**

Truth is a relative term, really. Every human being has their own definition of what is 'truth' and what is a 'lie'. Sometimes, the line between those definitions becomes too thin to see and one thing becomes another; unbidden and unwanted. Murderface thinks this is what happened to his playing. That what started out as a simple quest for revenge against Skwisgaar became reality. That he will _never_ play as an acomplished bassist again. Because truth is a relative term and that line that seperates the two has become so very, very thin.

**8. Time**

Tick tock, goes the bedroom clock. The countdown's started. Murderface was pushed one time too many. Tick tock, goes the bedroom clock. It's underway. He can't turn back now. Tick tock, echoes in his ears. There's no way out. And he gathers what he can into an open bag. Tick tock, and the night goes by. No one knows that he's gone until they can't get him back.

**9. Frozen**

It's barely thirty degrees when Murderface manages to get home from school. He was held late, again, because the guidance counselor wanted to speak to him. Again. As if there is anything really worth saying or like the balding man really cares. His hands are shaking when he wraps them around the doorknob - which feels like ice in his hand and actually _hurts_ to hold. Just before he turns it there is a click and then the whirring of wheels; he's been locked out, again. It sends his stomach plummeting and draws a curse from his frozen lips. But it brings no surprise. This is the third time that week that his grandmother has forced him to spend the night in the garage.

**10. Corrupt**

Charles Ofdensen has been working for Dethklok for almost seven years now. He has saved them from attack after attack on their lives, from financial doom, and from themselves. He has become a safety net for most of the band. But not for Murderface. Never for Murderface. Why? Because Charles Ofdensen is the only man to ever actually try to _help him_. And Murderface doesn't trust that it really is out of the goodness of the other man's heart. There has to be something that the manager wants, he figures, and he isn't about to give whatever it is up.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: The final installment in my practice-story. As always, please let me know which paragraph I should turn into a one-shot!

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><p><strong>1. Timber<strong>

They have built an empire. A sprawling palace for them and only them. And Murderface is apart of it. Apart of the legacy that is Dethklok. That knowledge should fill him with pride but it doesn't. Instead, it fills the bassist with a sick feeling of dread. Because, like every empire that grows to big and every tree that grows to tall, he knows that eventually they will all have to go falling down. And it won't be pretty.

**2. Departure**

There is a look in Pickles' eyes that Murderface has never seen there before. Dread, maybe? Or shock? He doesn't know. He doesn't want to know. Not now, when he has already made up his mind and announced his decision. So Murderface forces himself to tear his eyes away from the drummer and pick his bags up instead. And as he turns away from Mordhaus, from the band that had been his life and soul for over twelve years, and enters the car he knows what it is. It's sorrow. And somehow that makes leaving all the harder.

**3. Misfit**

They are misfits in every sense of the word. Most of them without families, or wishing that they could be without them, yet having a family in each other. Yet, in this family of misfits, there is one who stands out all the more. William Murderface; not as big a member in the band, not as handsome, not as smart. Not as loved, inside the band, or outside of it. Dethklok is made up of misfits in every sense of the word, yet none as big of one as Murderface.

**4. Hope**

It is a gangly man with thinning red hair pulled into dreadlocks that wakes Murderface up that morning. He reeks of stale beer and old pot and has to stop and clear his throat several times as he stops because his voice is breaking. But his words are still captivating. They are of a band that is about to rise to the top, a band like no other. One that they want _him_ to be a part of. This man, Pickles he calls himself, speaks of an opportunity that Murderface has never before been offered. He speaks of hope. And the homeless bassist is quick to snatch it up.

**5. Scars**

Pickles is staring and Murderface stares right back. There's fear in the drummer's eyes, maybe more. In the bassist's eyes there is the barely there glint of a challenge. Silence fills the air as Pickles draws in a shakey breath, hazed green eyes flickering from the light yellow of the other man's to the scars that criss-cross his arms and shoulders. To the slightly raised skin that covers Murderface's sides and, Pickles can only assume, down to the curve of hip that is still covered by jeans. Then the bassist snashes his teeth and slams his bedroom door shut, locking Pickles out and leaving an empty ache in the drummer's chest.

**6. Found**

Bass was never Murderface's life. It was never his soul, like guitar is for Skwisgaar. It was never his life-line, like drums are for Pickles. It's not how he expresses himself, like Nathan. It isn't even a way to escape, like playing is for Toki. It's a hobby. Simple as that. It's something that he learned so there was a way to pass the time until the next fight started up or the next odd-job had to be done. That doesn't mean he has no talent - far from it, actually. He just never thought that a band like Dethklok would be the ones to find that out.

**7. Safe**

Pain courses up Murderface's jaw, racing through the bone and into his teeth. Blood gurgles into his mouth and, for a moment, he is choking on the metallic liqued. Something hard is rolling about in his mouth, sharp enough on one end to slice open his rapidly swelling tounge. All Murderface knows in that instance is fear and anger and bloody red - and then his eyes jerk open and he's staring into the worried face of Pickles, blanket twisted about his legs and a cold sweat on his forehead. His jaw still aches. It always aches now. But he knows that he's safe in the drummer's arms and so he lets himself relax back into the bed with a sigh.

**8. Underdog**

Growing up, Murderface didn't have a lot going for him. He wasn't good looking, wasn't smart, wasn't funny. Didn't have a family to support him and make him feel good about himself. Now, in the world's most popular death metal band, almost nothing has changed. Murderface is still the underdog - not as handsome as the rest of the band, not as smart as Ofdensen, not as funny as Pickles. No one to make him feel good about himself, family or otherwise.

**9. Passion**

Niether of them are what you would call romantic. Being romantic isn't metal. It's gay - and just because they both are _gay_ doesn't mean they're allowed to go around and do gay things. They wouldn't know how to be romantic even if it _wasn't_ gay. So their courtship, instead, is filled with awkward gestures and many cleared throats. A few private jokes and some extra time in the hot tub, watching tv, drinking beer just the two of them. It's not romantic. Not in the least. But that doesn't mean that Nathan and Murderface aren't incapable of passion.

**10. Sober**

It's a small, plain ring. Made of twenty four karat gold, no diamonds, no engravings. Simple. Yet Pickles hand is shaking as though he's holding the Crown Jewels. Not because he's afraid of dropping the ring, he could always buy another one if that happened, but because he hasn't had anything to drink yet that day. He doesn't want Murderface to think that he's only asking because he's drunk; not for something so very, very important.


End file.
